The 20 best Chuck Norris facts
- Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain… the cobra died.
- He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris, it’s definitely his last laugh. (In his book, The Official Chuck Norris Fact Book, Norris added under this fact: “Now that’s funny. I love to laugh, as do most people.” Most people are still unsure if he was joking.)
- The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris’s age is to cut him in half and count the rings. (Norris commented: “Three years ago, at the end of a Nightline interview, ABC host Bill Weir asked me my age and I told him 66. Then I added with a smile, ‘I like to say I’m 39, with 27 years of experience.'”)
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.
- Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret.
- If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
- When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.
- When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage.
- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe air. He holds air hostage.
- Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That’s why there are no signs of life.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
- Chuck Norris’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won’t hurt the sun.
- If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.
- When Chuck Norris works out he doesn’t get stronger, the machine does.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep; he waits.
